MOOSECHUCKS

By ohtadmin | on August 04, 2023

LARRY LITTLEJOHN

Once an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent.

After being released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.

In the court the old man told the Judge: “They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone.”

The judge told the old man: “Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.”

Next day, the judge told the old man: “Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.”

The old man said: “I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.”

The judge then replied: “The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything.”

MORAL: Let’s all be mindful of our mouths, so that we won’t be burdened by our words.

*********************

As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess.

Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly.

The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him.

That does it, he decided.

I’m going to start a whole new regimen.

He began attending aerobics classes.

He started working out with weights.

He changed his diet.

And he got an expensive hair transplant.

In six months, he was a different man.

Again, he asked his female co-worker out, and this time she accepted.

There he was, all dressed up for the date, looking better than he ever had.

He stood poised to ring the woman’s doorbell, when a bolt of lightning struck him and knocked him off his feet.

As he lay there dying, he turned his eyes toward the heavens and said, “Why, God, why now?

After all I’ve been through, how could you do this to me?” From up above, there came a voice, “Sorry. I didn’t recognize you.”

*********************

There’s a famous story about the lion who came upon a flock of sheep and to his amazement found a lion among the sheep.

It was a lion who had been brought up by the sheep ever since he was a cub. It would bleat like a sheep and run around like a sheep. The lion went straight for him, and when the sheep-lion stood in front of the real one, he trembled in every limb.

The lion said to him, “What are you doing among these sheep?”

The sheep-lion replied in fear, “I am a sheep.”

The lion said, “No, you’re not. You’re coming with me.”

So he took the sheep-lion to a pool and said, “Look!”

When the sheep-lion looked at his reflection in the water, he let out a mighty roar, and in that moment he was transformed. He was never the same again.

*********************

A man had a little daughter, an only and much beloved child. He lived only for her, she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved fruitless, however, and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends, refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self.

Then one night he had a dream. He was in heaven and witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed, angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed, however, that one child’s candle was not lit. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing towards her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and asked, “How is that your candle is the only one not lit?”

“Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out again,” she said.

Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and it’s effects were immediate. From that hour on he was no longer a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling’s candle be extinguished by his useless tears.

*********************

A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise.

The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down.

During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work, saying, “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!” A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer.

Lo and behold, it’s a completely different place.

The farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

“Amazing!” the preacher says.

“Look what God and you have accomplished together!” “Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, “but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!”

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